Love turns to bane!



Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurts. Hurts to the point that it even hurts to breathe. A sense of void and hollowness in your chest that feels like it would swallow you alive and you would end up rotting in the pit of your own guts.

Isn’t love supposed to be fairy tales and unicorns and rainbows and eternal bliss and sunshine? Or was it all a load of crap, pushed down our throats by the novelty industry to sell us all a “hallmark” moment!

Love is all of that but not all that! There’s lot more to love that isn’t really used as a marketing tool or a selling point ’cause it wouldn’t make for a great Valentine’s day card. Imagine a card with a big, broken heart, dripping in blood and resting on a bed of shards and skulls in a velvety casket, with a seven-inch stiletto piercing through it. Wouldn’t really fly off the shelf or it just might! Going by the rate of break ups and divorces heading up north, you never know. Heart break novelty might just have a niche market that hasn’t been tapped into yet. How about we be the first ones with every like and share on this post…lol…(I’m just trying to get more likes)

But jokes aside, Love is a complex and serious issue than it is made out to be by a bunch of white collared jocks sitting in a fancy board room of some merchandising firm or the creative heads of some movie studio or channel heads of some entertainment network trying to sell the idea of “Love” to those who crave love or are in love with the idea of love and in all fairness and in the name of God, there are billions of us out there!

However, the dark reality of love gets smothered and clobbered by the jarring sound of a musical card and the glossy sheen of a wrapping paper that will soon find its way into the bin. But when the music dies down and the lights fade out, the cracks and the fissures in a relationship starts to appear in the dark.

Love is supposed to be a warm, comforting, balmy feeling but the reality of love is that it also comes with its fair share of heartache, heartburn and all things gnarly that no longer feels fun! And the fact that it hurts is proof that it’s love. You don’t hurt for someone you don’t love. You don’t pine and yearn someone who you don’t give a damn about. If it hurts, it’s love!

Hitting a rocky patch is a true test of your love and not remembering your third date anniversary or the first time you both got a pet together or planning a big hoopla for some dumb V day!

Someone who’d be willing to hold your hand and walk you through the dark is someone worth holding on to. There will always be a day when the sun hides behind the clouds and the overcast sky threatens to rain down on you. That’s when you need someone who will stand by you, keeping you warm and dry. And if you’ve found that, you’ve found love.

You’re still okay if you’ve found someone to keep you warm on a cold, soggy day. But what about those who are left abandoned, in the lurch, standing in the rain? Love can be just as cruel and unforgiving  for those who’ve been duped in the name of love. The fond memories turn into nightmares when you think of all the lies and deception and treachery you were subjected to and the same person that made you smile has become the reason behind your tears.

But what if there’s no treachery or cheating or lies and yet the two are left hurt? Both victims of the situation. There are equal efforts from both sides to make the relationship work but love still seems to be eluding them. When two people are equally in love but just not compatible or right for each other…what do you do?

What do you do when both have a different understanding and meaning for love? Different approach to life and a different way of looking at things, where one sees things as they are and is willing to accept reality and move on, knowing that it would be more damaging for both to stay in that toxic situation while the other is blinded by love and too possessive and obsessed to let go? Where one is too self-sacrificing and believes in playing clean while the other is too vindictive and vengeful and keeps on hurting and inflicting pain on the other as a way of getting back at them for they still love them and can’t accept the fact that it’s over…what do you do then?

What do you do when your love that was supposed to be magical, passionate, satisfying and the source of your happiness becomes the cause of your distress?

What do you do when you love someone so much that it hurts to see them and you know you have to let them go but you just can’t?

What do you do when your love becomes diabolical and toxic, slowly eroding away your soul and eating away your peace…when it becomes the bane of your existence?

What do you do when your love turns to bane?





2 thoughts on “Love turns to bane!

  1. Interesting again. May I chip in ? 🙂 The above situation sounds horrible but true love must bring pain. Immeasurable ? Because, love is the most intense emotion one can ever experience. Hence, intensity of pain has to be equal that of joy it brings. I doubt , it is just full of warmth and… That may happen only when you have your control . But when love happens , I just guess as I have seen a few , all your control is lost. Your pride starts falling. You think , you must hate it. You don’t know why you love the creature. But you can’t help it. Logics just don’t work in this realm. I have seen a few. It can only be experienced. Yet, nothing happens as one imagines and nature takes you to the next level. Leave all behind and start again from scratch. I just imagine.


    1. Love and hatred are the two most intense emotions and it is natural for love to come with it’s fair share of pain and discomfort but when it becomes debilitating or destructive to the point that your Love turns to the bane of your existence, you know it’s time to put an end to it. And that’s precisely what I’ve tried to say here. Love is devoid of any logic and rationale and things like pride and self-respect often take a back seat…but for how long? That’s the million dollar question. How much and for how long are you willing to endure? Thanks for taking the time to read my posts and sharing your insight with the rest of the world and those who chose to visit this space.


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